Jeep tour in the Wadi Rum Desert on 2/21/14
Monday, February 24, 2014
We're all moved into our home stays here in Amman and things couldn't be any better. The family I'm living with is fabulous. I live with a girl named Nour that went to Kivu a couple summers in a row and also happens to play for the national Jordanian soccer team which is kinda sick! She has the best sense of humor and is probably one of the coolest people you will ever meet!
Nour and I have had some interesting conversation thus far particularly one that I want to focus on that came us at dinner tonight was how ignorant Americans really are. This realization has been a long time coming for me since Rwanda probably. Nour told us that Luke had warned her not to be offended that when we came we would probably think that they live in tents and ride camels around everywhere.While I didn't quite expect that I did realize the only thing I really knew about the middle east prior to coming here were the numerous books and movies written around the 9/11 tragedy. I don't want to speak for all Americans so I'll just so far me personally at least this was true: When you say the middle east the names Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden do come to mind. If you have ever watched the prime time T.V. show Homeland
( for those of you that don't know its a TV show based on the Isarali series Prisoners of War that is about a U.S. marine that was a POW for 8 years and then turned into a terrorist and sent back to America and poses a possible threat for United States now because the Muslims who are apart of Al Queda have turned him against his own country)
Anyways this T.V. show paints the middle east in such a bad light a light which is so different from the reality here in Jordan. The tv show paints the picture that muslims= al queda which is so far from the truth it's not funny but people back home don't think that way. To be honest the way the media portrays this frustrates me to no end that the media specifically prime time television is adding fuel to an already roaring fire.
Luke asked us earlier this week to write down our fears before moving into this particular culture and almost all of my fears had to do with the stereotypes that have been thrusted upon me so these were the major ones that I wrote.
Fears
Nour and I have had some interesting conversation thus far particularly one that I want to focus on that came us at dinner tonight was how ignorant Americans really are. This realization has been a long time coming for me since Rwanda probably. Nour told us that Luke had warned her not to be offended that when we came we would probably think that they live in tents and ride camels around everywhere.While I didn't quite expect that I did realize the only thing I really knew about the middle east prior to coming here were the numerous books and movies written around the 9/11 tragedy. I don't want to speak for all Americans so I'll just so far me personally at least this was true: When you say the middle east the names Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden do come to mind. If you have ever watched the prime time T.V. show Homeland
( for those of you that don't know its a TV show based on the Isarali series Prisoners of War that is about a U.S. marine that was a POW for 8 years and then turned into a terrorist and sent back to America and poses a possible threat for United States now because the Muslims who are apart of Al Queda have turned him against his own country)
Anyways this T.V. show paints the middle east in such a bad light a light which is so different from the reality here in Jordan. The tv show paints the picture that muslims= al queda which is so far from the truth it's not funny but people back home don't think that way. To be honest the way the media portrays this frustrates me to no end that the media specifically prime time television is adding fuel to an already roaring fire.
Luke asked us earlier this week to write down our fears before moving into this particular culture and almost all of my fears had to do with the stereotypes that have been thrusted upon me so these were the major ones that I wrote.
Fears
- Women are not respected
- anti American attitudes present?
The list went on and on but those were the main concerns. In addition to these already emerging fears I had family and friends back home that were afraid for me to come here. All I wanted to ask was "have YOU ever been THERE?"
While I realize it's naive to think that all of the middle east is as peaceful and tolerant as Jordan is with Americans I know that it isn't I watch CNN for gods sake . I do believe it is ignorant on our parts to reinforce the stereotypes present to us in the media within our own hearts. It's really sad because there are some pretty awesome people that I've met here and I've only been here for 6 days. Earlier this month it was posed by Luke or Andy while having dinner with our Jordanian friends among who are Muslim, christian and atheist that this must be what heaven tastes like coming together despite our different beliefs and cultures and enjoying one another's company and I couldn't agree more.
Ramblings from my time on Kilimanjaro
Journal Entries from Kili!
Journal Entry #1
February 9, 2014
Kilimanjaro has become so beyond real. It was always a one day far off thing that we'd do this. Here we are in Tanzania on the eve before we start our climb. If you would have told my friends and family a year ago that I'd be climbing the tallest free standing mountain in the world while camping for seven days in a tent on the ground they would have said dream on. Honestly camping still doesn't appeal to me today. After long discussions with the gap year staff I learned to look at it from a new perspective that has grown me tremendously in my faith and that is spending seven days with god. If you look in the bible some of the most monumental moments occur in nature when god reveal something to man.
Journal Entry #3
February 11, 2014
Today went a lot better than yesterday in the sense that I was able to keep way ahead of the pace. It actually felt like we were getting somewhere there was a lot more talking today than yesterday. However despite all the chatter I feel like I was able to connect better with the lord. As we hiked the steep mossy hills I began to get a rythum in my head and that quickly became my mantra, "I believe help my unbelief". Thats all I kept saying in my head with every step I took, the fatigue got stronger and I got weaker. The only way I was going to make it to camp none the less the next couple days was through god and god alone. I feel like I'm the 4th person in gap year to say this but it just proof of how wearing mentally and physically the mountain had on all of us.
A couple of hours after that journal entry I woke up with a horrible cough making it severely hard to breathe. Blair stayed up with me all morning we read Jesus calling while the porters brought us tea in our tent. It didn't seem to help. A few hours later during breakfast I was coughing up a lung. Being told it was unsafe to continue crushed me. I feel like it was something I'd been looking forward to since gap year started. I replayed different senarios in which would let me continue like taking diamox or going at a slower pace the day prior but none of it was any use now.
In the woods each step I took I felt so close to god. I can only help but wonder if its because I'm so used to being in control that this I had really no control over what my body was deciding to do. Within this 'power struggle' so to speak I also learned that even though in life when I think I'm in control it's a false sense of control because ultimately God is the one thats pulling all the strings. When things get hard we turn to god because we have no where else to turn. Which was kinda a reality shock to me that's so true of me. When things get good instead of praising him and remaining in constant communication with Him I tend to put him in my back pocket.
I honnestly think that mountain is thing that changed me the most this year in terms of the perspective I gained toward my relationship with the lord. I don't really think it's anything I could describe that any of you would understand it's just something that will remain between me and god. If you think 9 months can change a person try two days on that mountain.
Journal Entry #1
February 9, 2014
Kilimanjaro has become so beyond real. It was always a one day far off thing that we'd do this. Here we are in Tanzania on the eve before we start our climb. If you would have told my friends and family a year ago that I'd be climbing the tallest free standing mountain in the world while camping for seven days in a tent on the ground they would have said dream on. Honestly camping still doesn't appeal to me today. After long discussions with the gap year staff I learned to look at it from a new perspective that has grown me tremendously in my faith and that is spending seven days with god. If you look in the bible some of the most monumental moments occur in nature when god reveal something to man.
Journal Entry #3
February 11, 2014
Today went a lot better than yesterday in the sense that I was able to keep way ahead of the pace. It actually felt like we were getting somewhere there was a lot more talking today than yesterday. However despite all the chatter I feel like I was able to connect better with the lord. As we hiked the steep mossy hills I began to get a rythum in my head and that quickly became my mantra, "I believe help my unbelief". Thats all I kept saying in my head with every step I took, the fatigue got stronger and I got weaker. The only way I was going to make it to camp none the less the next couple days was through god and god alone. I feel like I'm the 4th person in gap year to say this but it just proof of how wearing mentally and physically the mountain had on all of us.
A couple of hours after that journal entry I woke up with a horrible cough making it severely hard to breathe. Blair stayed up with me all morning we read Jesus calling while the porters brought us tea in our tent. It didn't seem to help. A few hours later during breakfast I was coughing up a lung. Being told it was unsafe to continue crushed me. I feel like it was something I'd been looking forward to since gap year started. I replayed different senarios in which would let me continue like taking diamox or going at a slower pace the day prior but none of it was any use now.
In the woods each step I took I felt so close to god. I can only help but wonder if its because I'm so used to being in control that this I had really no control over what my body was deciding to do. Within this 'power struggle' so to speak I also learned that even though in life when I think I'm in control it's a false sense of control because ultimately God is the one thats pulling all the strings. When things get hard we turn to god because we have no where else to turn. Which was kinda a reality shock to me that's so true of me. When things get good instead of praising him and remaining in constant communication with Him I tend to put him in my back pocket.
I honnestly think that mountain is thing that changed me the most this year in terms of the perspective I gained toward my relationship with the lord. I don't really think it's anything I could describe that any of you would understand it's just something that will remain between me and god. If you think 9 months can change a person try two days on that mountain.
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